Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Wow it is hard to believe the end of the year is already here. So many changes in just a short period of time. First off, I want to wish each of you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Yes I still say Merry Christmas, sorry not so PC with me...

As we sit here we are getting ready to face the biggest thing in our lives since we began this chapter of our lives. We have discussed it in detail and in great length. Kyla is dealing with it in her own way right now and that is normal and fine. Kyla and I were shopping yesterday looking for a gift from her to her daddy and all she would say is I want to get him something nice because I know what could happen after this year. We are told to let our children work thru their feelings and eventually they will come out and they do but it is so hard at times.

We were at her school last week for a Christmas concert in which all the choirs from the high school and the 8th grades performed. Kyla had told me there was one song that would get to me, and boy was she right. But, not only did it get to me, it got to a lot of others. The one thing people tend to forget are the children during deployments. As they sang this song I was crying and my best friend sitting next to me was too, her husband is deployed right now. After they were done you seen so many young women, teenagers, crying their eyes out. So deployments don't just effect adults. My best friend's daughter came up to us and all I could do is hug her and tell her it was OK to cry. I realize most who read this isn't near a military facility but try to remember, yes deployments effect everyone not just us grown ups. I wanted to just grab all those hurting and hug them all. I seen that night what it means to be a child in the military, they consoled one another and help each one thru it. Not all teenagers are bad kids.

Since we won't be coming home for the holidays we will be starting our own little traditions I guess but know that we miss each and everyone of you so much and wish the best for all of you. We hope Santa is good to all of you especially the children. As we wind up another year I have taken time to look back and realize what I am so thankful for. I have a husband who I love with all my heart and will stand beside him no matter what and support him, I have a son who now is an adult and living his own life and I am so proud of him I don't think he realizes that, I have a daughter who I love dearly even though at times I'm about ready to ring her neck but we have become so close and she makes us so proud each day. I have the best family support back home that I know if I need them all I have to do is call and rather it is just to talk or cry they are there for me. I have met some of the most amazing women down here who are going thru so much that makes me believe yes it does take a special person to be a military spouse or significant other.

As our time draws closer we will be busy getting Mike ready and us too. Please keep us and his team in your thoughts and prayers. There isn't a lot I can say on here but as the time draws near I promise ya'll will know. I had sent out a mass e-mail asking if our families could write a note or letter addressed to Mike for when he is gone so that he can look back and know how proud we are of him, well thanks to the Army I am needing those sooner than later.

Please know we miss each and everyone and you are in our thoughts and prayers daily.

November

Well before we know it this year will be over here we are in November already. Mike is gone for training so Kyla and I will be spending Thanksgiving with some friends down here. It will be hard but all of us there have husbands gone. He will be gone for a month or so. We actually have leaves that do fall down here and turn colors but not the pretty colors like back home.

Our time is coming closer that what we would like to think but we will make it thru. Kyla has become such a very strong young woman this past year. She is doing great in school. So much better than back home. She really seems to enjoy the school down here and she loves the choir.

We are fighting the urge to put up the tree while Mike is gone but we will wait till after Thanksgiving. I have managed to sneak out some decorations out while he is at work and surprise him when he comes home.

Please know that I will let ya'll know as much as I possibly can when we get information. We aren't holding anything back from you it is just they really don't know right now.

Are ya'll ready for this.... Kyla has decided she would like to go to school to become a nurse after high school!! She wants to go to Iowa State for some unknown reason.

Well I will let ya'll know when I can. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

October

Wow October is here and now almost gone. Mike celebrated his birthday this month. Things here are pretty much the same. Kyla is busy with school and choir. They had their first concert last week and sounded great. She is still doing really good in school in all her classes here. I am still looking for a job but it is a little hard with everyone closing up or laying people off. I am going to start training here at home for medical transcription. There is an organization that is for military spouses that pays for everything and they help get work when you are done. Hopefully that will start by the end of the year.

Mike has been busy at work and training. Our time is drawing nearer each day and the more anxious Kyla and I get. We have already started letters for him that we will give him when he leaves. Neither of us knows what the others is about that is our own private letters to him. It seems like the closer it gets the more that we need to double check on to make sure it is done. I am a co-leader for our Family Readiness Group, which we are there for support for deployed families in our group, relay information to the families and fund raise. Once the guys leave we will be very busy. It will Kyla and I something to keep busy.

While we have windows please understand we can not say anything to anyone for safety of the troops and for the families.

I honestly don't know what I would do without the great women I have met down here. Even though all of their husbands are already deployed we still have a common bond no matter our ages or if we have children or not. While we each have our bad days we are here for one another. People really do not understand the closeness of the military community. Most think it is just the soldiers but it isn't, it is the families too. While things get said or done that maybe shouldn't we are all still here for one another.

Another month gone

As I sit here today and type this and think about things, I basically feel like either screaming or crying or doing both. People assume when you are in the military everything in your life is great, well here is a hint, it isn't. As most of you know I am very close to my parents and my dad has been sick and taken to the ER twice in the last 24 hours with high blood pressure, which he has never had. My mom has had penumonia which has basically done her in for going on a month now and the meds the doctor put her own she was allergic to it, so they had to change that. The one thing mom has said that since she has been sick is that she has quit smoking now. It will take a good 2 months for mom to get back to her self again, if she listens to the doctor. It is killing me that I'm not there but I know my sisters are handling it and his fellow firefighters are helping out. It really does hurt us that we can't be there for my family, Mike's mom and grandma but they know we love them are they are in our prayers.

Not only do we miss out on holidays, birthdays, anniversarys, marriages, births and deaths, we miss out on when our families need us the most. Yes we knew this would happen when we signed up but it does not make it any easier especially when you have unsensitive people telling you well guess you should have thought about that. You know, because my husband has made the sacrafice for you and your family to make smart ass comments like that is why we are here.

Our time is coming closer to the big "D" day and we are trying to get in as much family time as we can. It seems like all of a sudden time has decided to speed up rather we want it to or not. We are hoping to get to come home for the holidays, it may not be for a full week but anything is better than nothing.

Kyla is doing so good in school down here, it is like night and day. She loves choir and her dress for choir is beautiful. We did find out that when they do their Christmas concert people can log onto the schools website and actually see the concert as they are doing it.

Mike has been busy with training and getting his military drivers license. I am looking for work, which like back home, isn't to easy down here. We have been so blessed to have met some wonderful people here and make lasting friendships.

It is hard to believe the holidays are fast approaching. The one thing we miss is fall time because I don't think we get that here.. It is still in the 90's. I miss my homemade apple butter, but not the crowd there..

Friends and a year later

Well we are now almost into the fall which means we started our new lives over a year ago. It is hard to believe that a year ago we went from discussing the military to knowing what all kind of acronyms mean, know how to tell time in 24 hour format and knows what it is like to be told on short notice your going to be alone for awhile.

I know I have said it before but it is worth repeating, I have met some of the most amazing and strong women here. We get together for play dates, birthdays, cooking party's and just because. I would have never imagined that people you just met could become your best friend to talk to, cry on or even yell at. It doesn't seem to matter that I'm the "mom" of the group we are all in the same boat. I know the guys all say the friendships of the military is something else, well that goes of us wives too.

We know more changes are coming but I really feel like with the friends Kyla and I have made we will be fine. We will be lonely at times but we also know all we have to do is pick up the phone for a pick me up. It amazes me that to be so different we are all alike.

Mike's parents and niece came for a visit last weekend and it was so great to see them and spend time. As we drove around post and Mike explained different things I could just tell how proud he was. I could also tell how proud of him they are!! I know there are families out there that just don't understand but when Mike told them a year ago what he was doing they knew this is him. I would like to say Thank You to both our families for being so understanding and so supporting.

Who we are

Who are we? We are strong, capable, and emotional people. We are the ones you pass by each day and don't even realize what we are going thru but we keep on going without our better halves. We keep the "home fires burning" so to speak. We are the ones that not only run the household, pay the bills, deal with repair people, deal with schools, hope and pray for a quick phone call, IM or an e-mail just to let us know you are alright, then we are also the ones who go to bed at night safely because of our significant others but at the same time we also cry ourselves to sleep, cry when we see soldier, cry when we hear a song and then we wipe our eyes and go on. WE do all of this because we are so proud of who we are spending our lives with. No one could know the pride we feel when anyone mentions the names of our loved ones.



Who are we? We are the backbone that have shoulders of strength and can take on more than you can imagine. Most of us have left our families behind because nothing will keep us from spending every moment we can with the ones we love because we all know that time is short and we don't want to miss a moment of anything. Yes we know we choose this life and we know what it comes with too and we are content to do whatever we have to for our loved ones. We know we will miss important dates "back home" and we hope and pray everyone will understand but we also know we have new family wherever we may be. We are there for one another rather it be a shoulder to lean on, someone to vent to, someone to share a dinner with or to celebrate those special days that our loved ones can't. We all stick together and Heaven help you if you makes us mad or upset or say the wrong thing to us.



So who are we? We are the military significant others who can do anything and will do anything for our loved ones. Some of us wear our pride on our shirts, put the stickers on our cars and probably upset some when walk by with our shirts on or you see our stickers on our cars. We may not clean our house or garden in high heels and go to lunches all the time but we are here and we are STRONG.

Another weekend

Several of my friends down here have said bye to their significant others and gone thru the most emotions one can go thru in one day. I know we have a little while yet but all of a sudden I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I know the day will come when he comes home and says I have orders. I am trying to stay strong not only for myself but for our daughter. We already know the date for training and that will be here before you know it. As I drive thru post daily you can tell just how many are gone due to little traffic. I've driven by as some were having their good byes and end up tears streaming down my face.

One of the worse things to me anyway, is when someone says "Well at least it is ONLY for 12 months instead of 15", while I am very grateful for that it is still 12 months that anything can happen in, it is 12 months out of our lives, 12 months that he won't see his daughter and see her grow. Like I have said in the past we knew this would happen but until you actually see it in writing or hear it on the news, you have no idea of how it hits you. You feel like a ton of bricks has just landed on your chest.

Our daughter and I have been trying to keep busy by going to the pool, but as I sit there while she is swimming I look around and see all the mom's and dad's who are there with their kids and know they are basically doing the same thing. Just trying to get thru another day. People also need to realize that just because this is an election year and they can say and promise all they want, troop withdrawl is not going to happen overnight.

Life in general

As I sit here tonight while my husband is working nights I sit and think a lot. I know we as military spouses and significant others are expected to go with the flow and smile but sometimes it is so hard. When you hear about another group leaving their family or you hear another on who has lost their life, no matter what branch of service, we all hurt. I see people daily with "that" look and you just sort of know.

I love our life, l love the fact that my husband is happy doing what he does and he seems so content and that makes me happy and at the same time sad because I know what is coming down the road. I also know that with our faith that my husband and I will get thru this together. We made a commitment to one another 5 years ago and we stand by those commitments no matter what. I really think there are some in the military that look at seperations as a time to let go, it isn't.

I have met the most wonderful group of women and men thru the internet. Each of us know what we are going thru at some point or another and we stand by each other. While we haven't met most of these people, we still are sad for them, happy for them, cry with them and Pray with them. While some think we have it made, they have no idea of what we go thru each and everyday and I'm sad for them but not for me.

Thoughts of Today

A good friend of mine is on her way to drop off her husband for 15 months. I know my time will be coming soon to do the same thing and I can only hope and pray that I am as strong as she is right now. They have 4 children one of which is only 3 weeks old and by the time daddy gets home he will be walking. My heart aches for her and her children and I will be here for them no matter what.

People don't understand why "we" signed up for this life and honestly when Mike mentioned it to me last year, I didn't understand when he said there is such a friendship in the military that isn't here in the civilian world, but now I do understand. While we were apart for 10 months it is nothing compared to what people everywhere have gone through. I am well aware of what is coming down the road for us and as I and my friend talked today remembering the training period, Sundays and nights were the worse for both of us and we know this will be worse. During training we were lucky, we got to talk everyday, e-mail and text. We were even able to go to Oklahoma twice and Virginia to be with Mike but what is coming are days of no contact, nights sitting wondering and praying and plenty of tears. I have met some of the strongest women I have ever known during the past 11 months.

Yes I have heard, "You knew what was coming when you signed up", yes we did and I will tell everyone and it does not matter if you are family or not, I support my husband 110% and will stand beside him no matter what. I am so proud of him and what he is doing. We know there are going to be separations and times of no contact but I know that God will watch over him and all the men and women. People assume because you are in the military everything is just great, that you have no problems, and everything is given to you, if they only knew.