Thankful

As everyone knows by now it is a very hard week here at Fort Hood. One of our own attacked our own and killed 13 people and injured many many more on Thursday, November 6th at 1:34 p.m. Where this started is about a mile and half from our home on post. I had Peanut outside and heard sirens but didn't think much because we hear them all the time. I came in and turned on my computer because it was about the time for Mike to get on line and seen where a shooting had happened here. Once I turned on the local news I was in disbelief. It was a little bit later they came over the PA system telling us to take shelter and lock all doors and windows.

The post was put on lock down, no one coming in or out unless emergency workers. Kyla's school was lock downed, there are no high schools on post. It was to have been an early out day for them, some of the elementary and middle school children on post had just gotten home when this started. Kyla called and asked what was going on and I explained to her what we knew at that point. I sent Mike a hurried e-mail to let him know where Kyla was and that we were alright physically. I, like everyone else here, spent the day and night glued to our televisions and computers. There were so many conflicting reports being reported that it changed all the time.

During this time our phone lines were so jammed, calls coming in were so sporadic. I couldn't get out to Kyla and couldn't even send a text. My sister back in Missouri was able to call Kyla and then relayed information back and forth. Mike was able to get online finally. While we were talking is when they released the information that it was a soldier who had done this. He did his best to calm me down while we were IM'ing. I can't imagine how they are feeling over there. Our loved ones leave to go to a war zone leaving their families and friends here thinking we are safe... I think they are wondering what all us are, how the hell did this happen??? How could one of our own do this to their fellow soldiers??? I know there are so many questions that will never be answered.

Finally between 7:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. they lifted the lock downs. I left the house to go get Kyla because we had to physically pick our kids up. It took me almost 2 hours to get off post to her school. This is normally a 15 minute drive. All I could do when I seen her come down the stairs at school was to grab her and cry. I held on to her all the way to the car. Once we were on our way home I had to tell her the difference between what rumors she heard at school. It is amazing what kids come up with. Once home we were glued to the television again. There was no sleep that night for me. Every noise I heard I jumped and I was up and down checking on Kyla while she was sleeping.

Friday was a a day filled with tears and questions. Something inside me told me turn off the TV but I just couldn't do it. I walked Kyla to the bus stop and stayed until the bus came. Once I heard the bus in the afternoon to drop her off I was outside waiting. Finally Friday night I just shut off the news and the computer. I was able to get some sleep off and on.

I can not tell everyone how much their e-mails, texts, phone calls and face book messages mean to us. I am so thankful for the family and friends that we have!! When the shooting started Mike's mom had called to check on us and I couldn't talk, just sob. My parents called next and I just lost it again. There were people who work off post but their children were on post either in school or daycare. Those poor parents couldn't get to their babies for hours. It was hard enough of those of us with older kids and couldn't reach them but I can't imagine having a little one and not being able to get to them.

I had been off post earlier in the day. I had went to a post office off post to mail Mike's Thanksgiving boxes off and stopped at the PX and commissary on my way home. I had thought about going to clothing and sales but decided not to. Had I gone I would have been on the road where this happened at that time. Sometimes things change and happen and we stop and think what could have happened. One of my friends husbands just got home this past week from Iraq and his unit was supposed to have been in that building and by the Grace of God their unit changed dates and he wasn't there.

I know when we are younger a lot of us have said "we couldn't wait to get out of our home town" and I never thought I would say this but I am so looking forward to going back in a few weeks. Like I have said, we've got the most amazing friends and family that I hope they know how much they mean to us. Our feelings have been all over the place in the past 48 hours. I don't want to leave the house for anything. I don't want to go off post for the fear if something happens and I can't get back home and I don't want to go anywhere on post for the fear of something happening. I know we can't stay in the house forever but for now there is no reason to go anywhere. I don't know if that fear will ever leave 100% for us here. Not only do some of us have our loved ones deployed but some are away for trainings and different schools so they weren't here and could only do so much over the phone lines and computers. Some of the feelings are just disbelief and shock and why...

Please keep all the family, friends, those who witnessed this tragedy and everyone here at Fort Hood in your thoughts and prayers. Also, please keep all of our military in your thoughts and prayers. Please know we are so grateful for all the thoughts and prayers..

We made it

We made it half way there this week!! To us that is a huge milestone. Now to get through the holidays. Mike is settled back in there and we are getting back to our routines here. On Saturday Kyla had tryouts for 9/10 region choir and she made it through the first round!! The judges said she was excellent, now she has to get ready for the next round which will be a lot harder piece of music. She also made A/B honor roll this quarter!!

I made it through my ankle surgery and I can't say enough how nice it is for it not to be hurting like it was. Thank goodness for a dear friend of mine down here for taking me, bringing me home, taking me to the doctor and checking on me daily to make sure we didn't need anything. Kyla was a huge help on top of laughing at me on crutches.

As I sit here writing this I, by chance, turned on one of the music stations on TV and YEAH they are playing Christmas music. I can see Mike sitting here in his chair shaking his head at me.. I sent him a email to let him know...LOL

My dear friend who lost her husband earlier this year in Afghan had her baby this last week. He is a beautiful healthy boy. He is so precious. I'm sure his big brother just loves him. I can't even imagine the emotions she had giving birth but I know her husband was smiling down from Heaven with his huge smile. Nicki is such a loving and caring person and I wish her and her children the absolute best. God Bless You Nicki and Connor and Cooper..

I already have 3 boxes to send over to Mike for Thanksgiving. Since there won't be a home cooked meal I have sent him similar items for Thanksgiving and things that he is thankful for. Kyla was talking last night that Thanksgiving will be hard with him not here with us, but we will be back in MO with our families. Christmas we are staying here in TX. We will start decorating as soon as we get back and start baking goodies to send to Mike.

Kyla and I are doing good. We have our moments but overall we are making it. My neighbor told me last night that he doesn't see how we do it because it is impossible for two females to live in the same house together and not want to cause bodily harm to one another...LOL I told him he just doesn't hear us...LOL Kyla has grown so much in the past 6 months and I mean emotionally. I think having a parent in the military makes them realize how important the little things in life are and not just the big things. She now knows what we meant when we told her to take time and enjoy life because tomorrow is not a sure thing for any of us. She has such a beautiful heart and caring heart and like her daddy she doesn't like to show her emotions but there are times they get the better of her and I will hear a sniffle and see a tear.

Please keep all of our military men and women in your thoughts and prayers.